Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Hello there, friend,

To answer your questions from yesterday: Yes, I have days like those. I start with a plan and then have to adjust, adjust, adjust. If there's one thing I've learned since becoming a mother, it's being flexible, which I'm still terrible at. Sometimes it feels like things are spiraling out of control, and all I'm doing is responding to what's going on around me. That's when I know I'm out of balance, when I stop acting and start responding. All the little fires light up around me and I run around putting out one after another until I can't anymore.

That was the story of my day, and it ended with me on the floor in the son's room, both children in my lap comforting me as I cried. My daughter had tears of her own and my son, still so little, wasn't sure what to do. I pulled them close to me and we all held each other saying, "I love you" and "I'm sorry" over and over.

No to-do list could meet me at that moment. No accomplishment or victory could compare to holding those two children, no matter how many fires I had to put out to get there.