Tuesday, September 15, 2015

hello there, friend,

i have seen that ted talk, although i had forgotten it's main points... your essay was fantastic and helped me think through her points even more thoroughly.

strangely (or not) i was going to write today about blocked creativity... about feeling like i'm just trying to make it through the day... about how proud i am of myself when i get dinner on the 'table', when i don't loose my temper, when i try to make myself heard... none of these are creative pursuits, they don't fill me up the way creativity can, but i feel like there's very little of me left. 

something i listened to the other day said that when you are a creator - an artist, you create whether you have an audience or not. if you love photography for instance, you would do it whether or not anyone knew about it... same for writing or sewing... you would be propelled to do it because you had to. not unlike what elizabeth gilbert says about being visited by genius.

but, i'm telling you, i don't feel it. i don't feel energized by anything right now the way i have in the past... don't feel like i have something to say that hasn't already been said, don't feel like i can do anything more than i already do. 

and maybe for now, that's my showing up... maybe it's time to stop feeling the pressure of trying to do more in this season than i can. maybe my showing up looks like taking a break.