Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Hello there, friend,

September blew in with a hot, humid breeze, and with it a bit of fresh air. Yesterday I felt so inspired. I sat down, intending to write out a goal list for the month, but stopped myself. What I need is not a goal list; what I need is to simply be. Stop striving, and just live. That's where my heart is right now.

My heart is also heavily working through perfectionism. I struggle with feeling like everything needs to be just so -- my family, my home, my photography, my interior life -- and if it is not, I feel inadequate. I thought I had worked through this before, but after this summer, it's clear to me that I have a ways to go.

Like how I have barely taken any photographs this summer because I can't bear to try to take the perfect picture or the less-than-perfect picture. I have this feeling in my gut (I can actually feel it in my body) that says, Shoot with your heart! Let go of the technical and take the messy photograph already! And I'm resisting.

But that voice. I hear it talking to me all day. Let go and live your messy life already. As I sit here writing to you, I feel like I have no idea what that means. All I know is that is what's next. I'm giddy and terrified at the prospect.