Thursday, March 24, 2016

Hello there, friend,

The other day, I was getting into the car after grocery shopping. It was a bad shopping trip -- I was starving, the store was packed, and the cashier seemed annoyed that I expected her to actually bag my groceries. I grumbled all the way to the car, pushing my son and the packed cart through the parking lot.

When I opened the car door, I heard someone laugh. It was a woman and her laugh was so genuine. I looked up and saw her smiling at a man she had been talking to. They were parting ways and even as they parted, they kept calling out to each other and laughing. Here I was in my own grocery shopping misery and they looked so light and happy. I felt a pang of jealousy.

When you talk about being surprised by life, it seems that those surprises would bring delight. And so often they do. But just as often is the surprise that this is my life and that every moment isn't filled with joy. There's so much struggle, so much pain. All too often, I feel like I can't get my head above water. I want to be the woman laughing in the parking lot.

Of course, what I don't see is when I am that woman. I don't see when my belly laugh catches someone off guard. I don't see my own contagious joy. And she probably doesn't either. What she also doesn't see is how that moment affected me -- a moment of lightness, a reminder that it doesn't all have to be so heavy.