Thursday, May 12, 2016

Hello there, friend,

I am grateful that I've become a morning person. Each day, a new one, full of possibility and, like you said, optimism. I don't feel that way in the evenings at all. I feel overrun, exhausted, depleted. When my daughter was born, I made the decision that as soon as she went to bed, I was off duty and free to relax. All the shoulds and to-dos when to bed when she did. That is still so true.

Because of this, I struggle with doing anything in the evening. I am just so used to turning my taxi light off at night. I know if I can get myself out the door -- to take my daughter to softball, to go meet friends, to go take pictures, whatever it is -- that I'll be fine. I get a second wind and usually have more fun than I expected. But I struggle with the interior feedback that says I don't want to do this.

I wish that wasn't the case. I wish we could get everything done before noon and have the rest of the day to play and relax. I'd spend my mornings working and running errands, and my afternoons reading. I'd go to bed early every night and wake with the sun each morning. For now, I'll try to make that my life and do my best to be flexible and graceful with the rest.