Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Hello there, friend,

I have been feeling, since around January when my husband started his first semester of nursing school, that I've been missing the element of surprise in my life. For the last few months, almost nothing has been spontaneous. Everything is planned and free time is heavily guarded. It has gotten so bad that, like I told you last week, I feel a sense of dread.

But we are less than a week away from the end of the semester and the sweet freedom of summer. And, even though my daughter still has another month of school, there's been a lot of talk about what our summer will look like. I am emphatic that I want an unscheduled summer. I want to wake up in the morning and decide what we will do that day. I want to listen to my heart and embrace that sense of yes. I want to be spontaneous and allow myself to be surprised and delighted.

When my friend and her family came by on Sunday, it was certainly a surprise and a delight. It was also a wake up call that the life we're living as a family right now is not ultimately how we want to live. It's a sacrifice for my husband to go back to school while he continues to work full time, and part of what we're sacrificing is the freedom to choose. Which makes me feel all the more that we need to take advantage of this summer, of the flexible routine, of the lazy days and the ones that might send us off on an adventure. Because we need that. I need that.