Friday, May 20, 2016

Hello there, friend,

It's funny to me how, from one day to the next, things can go from bleak and impossible to amazing, inspiring, and very possible. I wish there was a road map or a schedule so we could plan out which days would be which, so that we could prepare. Instead it comes in waves, one crest lifting before crashing again. Maybe that's a bit grim, but nonetheless true.

I used to feel the very highest height in those crests, letting them lift my emotions off the charts. Conversely, the crashes would be hard, fast, and merciless. I let each dictate how I felt about myself, and my emotions were all over the place. But I've learned, slowly and through a lot of self examination, that I can ride the waves without letting them carry me away. I can be more of a buoy, bobbing up and down but never losing my place. It's taken years to get here, but it feels good to be anchored down. It feels good to enjoy the highs and not get lost in the lows.