Thursday, July 21, 2016

Hello there, friend,

I spent most of the day trying to process our visit, figuring out what to say about what had just happened. But it was so overwhelming. Our time together was so full that yesterday I collapsed in a heap and could barely get up. I think they call it a vulnerability hangover, but I'm guessing the little sleep we got staying up so late had something to do with it. And yesterday was also my son's fourth birthday, so I was up and down all day.

One thing you and I talked about, which was truer yesterday than any other day before, was how when we write in this space, it is very raw. We are writing in real time, processing our lives as they happen. Most days, that's a lot harder than it seems. Yesterday, I wasn't ready to write about our time together, and I spent more time staring at my hands on the keyboard than actually typing. But I did it. I wrote what I felt in my heart at that moment, and afterward I felt good. Whether I was ready or not, there was something to say.

I'm grateful that this project keeps me aware in my own life. Sometimes that is painful, but most of the time it helps me to wash my life with gratitude, to remind myself that even on very bad days, things are very good. In the rawness of what we share here, that is the thing that keeps me coming back.