Friday, September 16, 2016

Hello there, friend,

I can't begin to tell you how many times I've offloaded my hot potato of pain onto others. I struggle with that big time. So often I have wished that someone could have showed me how to manage my emotions when I was younger, that someone could have guided me through it and told me it was okay to feel this way. But that would have required someone understanding emotions in the first place, and especially their own emotions. I'm learning that most people don't.

When I think about the things I say to my kids when they feel pain -- that it's normal, that it's okay, that it will pass, that sadness and hurt is just part of it -- again, I wonder why I don't readily say those things to myself. It's easier to fall into the black hole or pass the hot potato than be kind to myself.

On my drive home today, I was thinking about practicing, how we're all just practicing. We're not always getting it right and in some ways, we're not really getting better. We're just practicing walking it out, getting a little more familiar each time. That's what handling pain is like -- it's a practice. It's like yoga where some days we're nice and stretchy, we feel good and strong, and others we need to lie forehead to the mat in child's pose. Sometimes the pain is like that, and that's okay.