Monday, October 24, 2016

hello there, friend,

when i was younger, i used to complain to my then boyfriend, now husband, about how frustrated i felt when something went wrong. i couldn't understand how it was even possible sometimes. he responded by helping me understand that was only part of the picture. things go wrong and things go right. often we don't notice or pay attention when things go right. and things go right over and over again during the day, that we just take for granted.

a glass of milk spills, but the cereal box didn't spill. you drop your coffee cup on the way to the car, but you didn't drop your bag of books or your lunch. you have a flat tire one day, but didn't all those other days, you focus on your mistakes, your perceived faults, the exam questions you got wrong - not right, your loss of patience with loved ones when most of the time you are patient and kind.

only somewhat recently have i come in contact with the phrases 'what you look for you will find' and 'what you focus on grows'. in some ways it's easier to focus on what goes wrong or what isn't right. it's more salient, somehow. we have to work hard to see what's good, to notice it... for our default setting to look for good and notice it. but, once you start you notice a shift... you notice you are looking for the good, the narrative in your head shifts, the way you see things changes.