Thursday, December 15, 2016

Hello there, friend,

Each morning, I have an alarm on my phone that goes off at 6:40. It reads, "you are loved. you have a purpose." Some mornings, I give it a casual glance; others, I pause to let it work on me. I may not feel loved every day, I may question my purpose and what in the world I'm doing more often than I care to admit, but whether or not these things are true -- that I am loved, that I have a purpose -- is not based on how I feel. They are true despite my feelings and despite my failings, every single morning of every single day.

Today I spent some time reflecting on the past year, answering some questions I had found about life and work, what worked and what didn't. My list of challenges and unfinished goals is long; the things that were hard this year still feel heavy. Much of what I'm proud of or what feel like wins are quiet, behind-the-scenes things. I had to sift through to dig them out, but they're there.

The biggest among them is my family, the one I've created with my husband. That I continue to untangle the mess of my childhood, that I focus on unconditional love even when I don't feel it, that I lean into being the kind of wife, mother, and person that I want to be -- this is the great work of my life. When I think about only what matters in my life, it's this. Here I am loved; here I have a purpose.