Friday, February 17, 2017

Hello there, friend,

I get tired of being weighed and measured online. I get tired of weighing and measuring. The amount of energy and self-control it takes to manage it all takes an extraordinary amount of strength. After a while it all feels meaningless. What do I actually care about? What is truly meaningful? I've been asking myself this a lot lately, trying to navigate through the rushing waters of the internet. I fear there's no answer, no easy way through.

Where I struggle most is in my own need to create. I know I can create for myself only, but I want to share what I make and do. I also want to know that I'm not just another voice in the crowd making noise for noise's sake. I see too much of that. It makes me weary. Maybe we all need an audience, or maybe the audience is too readily available. We feel like we have to perform. We feel like we have to share.

So I tiptoe, like you do, down the line between real life and the internet, between the full richness of the real world and the constant deluge of information online. I step back and step forward, always aware of where I put my foot and how it feels to be inside or outside of it all. It's a dance, for sure, and even dancers need to sit down and rest once in a while.