Friday, February 17, 2017


Hello there, friend,

I get tired of being weighed and measured online. I get tired of weighing and measuring. The amount of energy and self-control it takes to manage it all takes an extraordinary amount of strength. After a while it all feels meaningless. What do I actually care about? What is truly meaningful? I've been asking myself this a lot lately, trying to navigate through the rushing waters of the internet. I fear there's no answer, no easy way through.

Where I struggle most is in my own need to create. I know I can create for myself only, but I want to share what I make and do. I also want to know that I'm not just another voice in the crowd making noise for noise's sake. I see too much of that. It makes me weary. Maybe we all need an audience, or maybe the audience is too readily available. We feel like we have to perform. We feel like we have to share.

So I tiptoe, like you do, down the line between real life and the internet, between the full richness of the real world and the constant deluge of information online. I step back and step forward, always aware of where I put my foot and how it feels to be inside or outside of it all. It's a dance, for sure, and even dancers need to sit down and rest once in a while.

xo,
L

Thursday, February 16, 2017


hello there, friend,

it's thursday and my mind is busy, full of lots of bits and pieces, list after list, mental and physical. i feel like a carnival attraction keeping too many plates spinning in the air, wondering when one or two will crash. i know sometimes this is just the way life is. and i remind myself that the juxtaposition of this kind of week will allow me to appreciate the weeks that are slower even more.

one of the things i've loved so much about having a technology free day is that i'm having a true sabbath. my mind is getting a break from the relentlessness of news stories, likes, and comparisons. i feel more grounded, clear-minded, and present. my mind slows down in a way i can't quite explain. the chatter stops.

i keep thinking about how important it is that we allow our minds to take a break. whether for a day, part of a day, or even 5-10 minutes. i think about the kinds of things that allow the chatter in my mind to stop for a bit or slow down. like you, using my body for exercise or creativity does this for me. and even on the busiest days, i know i can find a few minutes to walk, to sit in silence, read, or work with my hands.

xo,
b

Wednesday, February 15, 2017


Hello there, friend,

When my daughter was a baby, I used to take Sundays off of technology too. I had a smartphone then, but my husband didn't. It was easy enough to put it away for the day, so we could focus on family and Sabbath. That, of course, has become more complicated as the years have passed, but I still often find myself leaving my phone somewhere out of reach on purpose to give myself some mental space. I also feel burdened to demonstrate to my children, who are still very young, that life is about more than what technology can offer us. Some days that's harder than others.

I think it's wonderful that your family is taking a technology Sabbath together. I'm also glad to hear that it's drawing you all together. How much richer life is when we get back to basics. I'm realizing more and more the value of working with my hands and body, how rewarding it is. It pulls me out of myself and into the world around me, and I'm enjoying that so much. Just this morning, I spent a half hour shoveling, watching the snow swirl around me, feeling my arms and back move the shovel. I came inside, cheeks rosy and back sweaty, feeling like I had accomplished something important. Rarely do I feel that after sitting with any sort of technology and rarely do I feel it even when I am getting somewhere with my writing. I'm with you on stepping back from it all and zeroing in on what's life giving. I want more of that.

xo,
L

Tuesday, February 14, 2017


hello there, friend,

like you the last few weeks have felt heavy. although i can't claim lack of sleep, my mind feels disjointed anyway. from the business of our daily lives, to making quick trips here and there, to minor health concerns, and more than the normal workload at school, i've felt overwhelmed and have headed to bed early several times just to avoid the feeling.

last saturday we gathered around the table for a family meeting and decided together to give up technology on sundays from sunrise to sunset - for the month of february. miraculously, and with some groaning, everyone was on board.

these past two sundays have been such a gift. my kids have made eye contact with me and with each other, we've had conversations in the car and around the table, they've played games, made up silly songs, and spent time either outside or organizing their workspaces. they've created, helped in the kitchen, and spent time being bored. turns out, we all need this kind of time without distraction. i only wish i had tried this sooner.

xo,
b

Monday, February 13, 2017


Hello there, friend,

I made myself a cup of tea and sat down to write to you. It's Monday, and I'm ready for a fresh start. Since we flipped the calendar to February, life has felt heavy. I haven't slept well and that only complicates things. My emotions slide further out of control the longer it's been since I've had a good night's sleep. I'm impatient, frustrated. I try to remind myself that this will pass.

I wrote myself a note that said, "Focus on what is, not what isn't." Then I taped it by my desk to remind me. I tend to be a glass half-empty kind of person, so I need the reminder to see the things that are happening and keep my eyes and heart there. There are a million things I can't get to and can't accomplish. Even simple things are often left undone.

But here's what I can do today: sip this hot tea, finish this letter, work for a bit; later, I'll take my kids to the pool for swimming lessons. I'll choose gratitude over grumpiness, and apologize when I slip up. I'll smile at people. I'll hold these little things close, and leave the big things for another day. After all, it's the little things that make up our lives.

xo,
L

Friday, February 10, 2017


hello there, friend,

i remember feeling some of what you describe as a teenager. i remember wondering what was wrong with me, wondering did i feel different or the same as everyone else? did other people think about things over and over again like i did? did they daydream? did they think about the future? did they worry constantly about what they said, or did, or wore?

and i remember the transition, the year that felt like i was coming home to myself. the year i finally felt like i didn't care what other people thought of me. i was finally confident enough in who i was to stop worrying all the time. not surprisingly, this was my senior year of high school.

i tell my middle schoolers and high schooler all the time that everyone around them is much more concerned with themselves than they are with them. i have seen them question how they fit in and i have seen them stand out, confident in their own skin.

learning to know ourselves, even as we grow and change is such a gift. it allows us to be both comfortable and humble - passionate and compassionate. what i hope for my children is that they learn to be self aware - that as they learn about themselves - they will be better able to interact with and relate to those around them.

xo,
b

Thursday, February 9, 2017


Hello there, friend,

I can't really imagine what it will be like when my kids are teenagers. Like you, I can barely imagine next year, though I look forward to it with great anticipation. My son will start kindergarten and both kids will be in school full time. I've been feeling more and more like this parenting thing is speeding up. The first years felt so long, but now we're moving at a good clip.

What I do know is how I felt being a teenager, feeling lost and misunderstood and unloved. I was always trying to find my place in the world, sometimes feeling okay but mostly wondering what was wrong with me. Of course, I don't want that for my children. I want them to know they are loved and precious and safe. I live every day with the hope that that will be enough for them, that they'll grow into adults who feel solid and strong in who they are, and who never question or doubt whether they are loved.

xo,
L